3+1 Days of Raya

Raya holiday is over *sob* and I have to get on the plane in 4 hours, so this post will be a quick one. This is probably my last raya here in at least 5 years, so I tried to enjoy every moment of it. As usual the first 3 days was full of open houses to attend, plus one more just yesterday. I’m to lazy to write so just look at the pictures (a picture is worth a thousand words):

First Day

As with tradition, first day is always at my auntie’s house. All of us from my father’s side were there.

In the room, hiding from guests yg tdk dikenali

Cousins plus one nephew

Second Day

Open house at my place, and it was very tiring. Don’t have any picture of that. But at night we played bunga api

I'm the one in pink...or is it peach?

I smelt of smoke after that

We did play some more daring fire crackers, not just this sparklers

In the wisp of smoke, out comes....Mamat

Cousin

Cousins yg sdh bujang

Third Day

In the afternoon, at my uncle’s place. I havent got the pics yet. At night at my cousin’s place

I dont know how to rotate...Anyway, we can be siblings right?

Sixth Day

Last open house, at least, the last one I can attend. Other uncle’s place

The many faces of third and fourth generation Datalis

Uncle and aunties; ada dua org sesat

My Raya ends just like that. 10 days holiday ends now, and I have less than 2 hours until I have to go to the airport. Sigh, but in less than 2 months A2 will be over and I’d have 3 months break. That and A2 are the only things that prevented me from not wanting to go back to KTT. Oh, and my friends there. Cheers for now…

Filmography

I will only post about my Raya celebrations after the last open house on the 26th, so I don’t really have any significant event to blog about now. But to keep this blog posted, I’m gonna blog about films to watch for the rest of 2009. With A2 and everything, it’s hard to find time to watch movies, but that wouldn’t stop me from watching them after the exam. So here are some of the “supposed-to-be-good” films to catch for the next 3 months (if they will be released here):

Fame (25th Sept) Trailer

A remake of the 1980 film, but without the sex, racism, abortion, homosexuality and nudity. Heck, it’s basically High School Musical with more talented cast. But I still wanna watch it though

An Education (9th Oct) Trailer

A bright girl who gives up the chance to go to Oxford for a much older man. A juicy coming-of-age drama.

Where the Wild Things Are (16th Oct) Trailer

Based on the children’s book, it follows the imaginary adventures of a young boy named Max who is angry when his mother invites her boyfriend over. After causing one mischievous antic after another, he is sent to his room without supper. Feeling angry and unloved, he then creates a forest bordering a massive ocean, and sails away to an island inhabited by seven imaginary monsters called the Wild Things, who crown him as their ruler.

The Men Who Stare at Goats (6th Nov) Trailer

Based on a true event (and a book) about the US Army’s exploration of New Age concepts and the potential military applications of the paranormal

2012 (13th Nov) Trailer

Another disaster movie by the same person who directed The Day After Tomorrow. Should be a good visual feast

Up in the Air (13th Nov) Trailer

I don’t even know what’s this movie about, but the trailer looks great. Plus, it got amazing early reviews and word-of-mouth.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (25th Nov) Trailer

Stop-motion film based on Roald Dahl’s book. The animation looks, well, stiff. But it still looks nice.

Nine (25th Nov) Trailer

Musical directed by Rob Marshall (who brought us Chicago) with an all-star cast (7 Oscars among them). Probably the sexiest film to come out this year. Just look at the trailer.

The Princess and the Frog (25th Nov) Trailer

Disney’s return to traditional 2D animation. Could it mark a new Renaissance for Disney after numerous dismal films? Here’s hoping coz the trailer looks promising. Oh, did I mention it features the first black Disney Princess?

The Road (25th Nov) Trailer

Probably the bleakest, most depressing film to be released this year. If it is anything like the book, it’s gonna be dark, sad, haunting and amazing.

The Lovely Bones (11th Dec) Trailer

Directed by Peter Jackson (that should be good enough reason to catch it) based on a book that tells the story of a girl who was raped and murdered. She finds herself in ‘the in-between’ a Heavenlike place, observing her family as they grieve for her. She also watches her killer who, having covered his tracks successfully, is preparing to murder again, and struggles to balance her desire for vengeance on the killer and her desire to have her family recover from their loss.

Avatar (18th Dec) Trailer

It’s supposed to be revolutionary and will change the way we watch movies. New technology was developed just for this film. It’s 3D exclusive and was pushed back several times just so more theaters will have the chance to install 3D projectors. Will this be the next Titanic?

Alvin and the Chipmunks : The Squeakquel (25th Dec) Teaser Trailer

Okay, this one is a guilty pleasure. But come one, who can resist them? Theodore especially.

Sherlock Holmes (25th Dec) Trailer

A new take on the much-loved detective. Stars Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as  Dr. Watson, this is Holmes and Watson as we have never seen them before. But judging from the trailer, it looks more like an action film…

The Tree of Life (25th Dec)

I’m not sure what this is about. I think it’s a bildungsroman about a Midwestern boy’s journey from the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as a “lost soul in the modern world”, and into his quest to regain meaning in life. The buzz surrounding this film makes me wanna catch it.

Creature From Another World

I saw a creature, unlike one I’ve seen before

No words can describe it,

nor are there any hands that can paint it’s form.

It behaved oddly – not like all the other creatures of the forest

Certainly it is not from this forest?

It’s manner peculiar; it’s conduct out of the norm.

The creature drank from a small stream

While all the other creatures drank from the roaring river

All mingling together – all drinking

But this odd creature,

He did not just drink, but savor the water

The taste, smell, appearance of it, everything.

The creature played alone in the meadow

But all the other creatures play together

Synchronously, unanimously; neither play a different game

But this funny creature, all alone as it is,

Seemed to enjoy itself, playing many games, one after another

All different games, none are the same.

The creature sleep alone, under a little chestnut tree

While all the other creatures huddled together,

Snoring in rhythm, all in the same tune.

But this strange creature, alone as it was,

Never did feel cold; in fact, it was sleeping ever so soundly,

Under the bright divine moon.

This creature, whose peculiarity was quite apparent,

Kept to itself, never mingle nor interact with the other creatures,

None knew what is it; it’s identity was not unfurled.

But all knew that, this creature who was ever so bizzare,

Is quite a creature – unique and extraordinary it is.

This creature from another world

I saw this creature, this ever so wonderful creature,

With its oddity, it’s weird decorum, unconventional behaviors,

A creature blazing with wonderment, yet did not cause any furor.

I saw it not so far away; at a place quite near home,

I need not walk far to see it again – I don’t even have to leave my room!

I can see it again; all I need to do is to gaze at a mirror.

Masquerade

The world is a grandiose, extravagant Bal Masque (Masquerade Ball) in which all the guests sport masks of varying designs and characters. Their faces are hidden; their identities concealed – but none of the guests are at strife with another. None knows the actors behind the guises. Everyone plays along according to their characters, be it a peacock, dragon, a queen, a knight, a court jester, Mephistopheles, an executioner, a lady etc.

This is the world we live in. A world of actors, portraying their own dramatis persona in front of other actors. And all of them are good at it; trained vaudevillians – some may be considered thespians – who convinced others of their character’s character while concealing their own. This is not something as vituperative as slander or deceit, but it’s not something to be proud of either. Having an alternate can be good or bad, but when one becomes the persona more often then the person, something must then be done.

All of us are guilty of this. We are all born actors. Portraying different characters in different settings. (EDIT) We may hold professional jobs, but inside is an artist longed to break free; Ones who are forced to live by rules which are against their own beliefs and principles; A happy family man who is actually struggling to live the lie he had been living for years;  A roaring lion on the outside, but inside is a timid mouse.  These are the lies we live with. They are roles we play in life; inescapable acting such that is needed to survive in a surreally realistic world of unrealness.  A world that does not just need us to adapt, but also to don guises, becoming another person. Exposed to this veracity since birth, all of us are trained actors, but hardly any dare to show their true selves.

Should we change then, taking off the masks that we always wear, abandon the visages that we don in life? That is tough to say. The thing is, unless we want to be alienated, guises are necessities. There should be different sets of countenance  for different settings. This is needed to maintain social peace, as people nowadays can never accept differences in views and manners. A certain decorum we must adhere to when faced with certain people, to ensure acceptance and respect. Those are the unfortunate building blocks of our society: lies and fraudulence. On the bright side though, it keeps society peaceful. Most of the time.

Though masks and guises are needed in life, one must never forget his/her own true identity. Never glamorise the persona. Never overact, or become too immersed in the character. Add a touch of your own character in to your guise. And then you shall be a great actor. We can always concealed ourselves physically, or alter our manner, but we can never change our heart.

I will say that I am a good actor. I’m guilty of constantly wearing a mask, but my mask doesn’t change. I always wear the same mask. A mask that represents my own self, while concealing my deepest darkest secrets (joking!). I don’t wear a Seraphim mask, nor am I playing Mephistopheles. My visage is no mere veneer of vanity, but a vestige of my own virtues and vices, carefully balanced to show my true self, yet conform to societies’ draconian rule. I am a court jester: someone that no one really takes seriously. I am the philosopher: I think for myself, idealising a world that is fair and just. I am the strategist: I planned my move in accordance to life’s decree. I am the king: I rule my own kingdom  according to my own fair judgement.

I am bored.

A Conversation During Dinner

Here, for me, dinner is usually the most entertaining, yet sometimes awkward/disturbing part of the day, but not because of the food. Rather the discussions I had with dinner-mates Daniel and Queenie. Every time we had dinner together, the conversations never stray far away from  redundant subject matters (aliens, suicide, fruits and vegetables), gossips, gore and x-rated stuffs. A  mildly entertaining way to kill time (dinner usually lasts 50 minutes. only about two fifth is spent eating). Here’s an excerpt of one such conversation. I can’t remember when did it happened nor all the things we talked about. But it’s enough to show people what scholars really talk about:

Daniel, Queenie and I were waiting for our food when Shahril came. It was the day after AS results were released, and Shahril was facing some  troubling matter (note: I’m being dramatic here). It was something about some people badmouthing him not deserving of his straight A result and such. So, we were advising him on the matter. We act as the psychiatrists, charging $100 and hour with $20 for every extra minute. I can’t really remember how did that go, but I know that Shahril mentioned a rumour that his uncle works at Cambridge or something. Then, either to comfort Shahril or just being himself, Daniel joked about his uncle’s brother’s son (or was it grandfather’s brother’s son. I’m not sure) being a dean at Cambridge. Quennie countered with her ancestor being the founder of Cmbridge. I forgot what Daniel countered, but I know it went all the way up to their ancestors being Queen Elizabeth and the founder of Africa (yes, the continent). If it went on, I’m sure it would get all the way to Adam and Eve. I’m curious to know how would anyone counter that.

We got back to Shahril, whose problem is almost forgotten. He wasn’t down actually. He said he didn’t care. Then I said “we care that you care. Otherqise we can’t charge you anymore” (the whole thing became a joke already). Suddenly Daniel cried “Care bears!”. A new topic followed, which involved children shows, such as Barney (and how he’s actually a molester). I know we talked at length about his.

After that the conversation turned….quite inappropriate to talk about here (note: turd). I’m sure there was something about vegetables. Oh, and Martians. And books. And twigs (or was it on the next dinner?). It’ shard to keep track on our topics and debates.  If we keep records on our conversations during a one week duration, we’d have a whole anthology on various topics, of which more than half of it would be censored.

The thing is, the conversations are not bad; they’re actually quite stimulating. Oftentimes concepts of bio, physics and chem would pop up in our conversations. Like, if human-plant hybrid exists, how would they survive on photosynthesis and such, or does insects/jellyfishes have bains? How would their nervous systems work, etc. Philosophies are also discussed. For example, we are all androids, programmed to do specific tasks in the world. So what is our role? Who are we really?

All study and no play make scholars cranky cyborgs. During dinner, we filter out useless thoughts and ideas to make way for information obtained during studies. It’s simple equilibrium. Le Chatelier’s Principle.

Then again, I’m posting useless stuff here. It helps the creative process in instigating and formulating crapfested yet articulate answers for questions that we don’t know the answers to during exams. It’s symbiosis.

Or maybe I’m as mad as a hatter…

Catching Up

I know this blog has been idle for over 2 months now. I’ve been really busy since my sem break that I really didn’t have time to even log into wordpress. Plus, I had no inspiration to write. It was a hectic 2 months, and another insane 3 months left until I finished my A level. So, this blog wont be updated regularly. Maybe once a month. Maybe

What happened in the last 2 months? Well 3 weeks after classes started, we had our mid sem exam. And the new batch of JPA/MARA scholars came. I’m not really close to them, but I was surprised that there’s a lot of Sabahans this year. About 20 India bound compared to 5 for our batch. I guess that’s a good thing.

Then of course, my AS results….and I’m content. But I did not feel as happy as I ought to be. Macam biasa only. A2 is in 2 months. Whoopee…And I’ve done my IELTS exam too. I think it went well. Result out in less than 2 weeks.

Other than hat, nothing significant happened in the last 2 months. Unless you count me getting wearier from exams significant. But I’m coping well. Seriously I do. I actually think I’m enjoying myself more this semester than before. But I do still study. And no, I dont study all day.

I don’tknow what else to say. I’m not good writing about updates. You never see Shakespeare writing about himself. I prefer writing critical, thought-provoking, pedagogic essays. But, since I’ve cracked my creative brain juice on IELTS essays last week, the coming posts would be blatantly written, informal, crude, mildly amusing, inappropriate piece about something funny that happened. Now, I just need to recall the details, which isn’t easy. You’ll know why when I write about it.Or maybe my brain juice would refill itself by then. Until next time. Cheers~

Next to Normal

A bipolar mother and wife

A loving but suffering husband and father

An imaginary son

All these in a new Broadway show that shed light on bipolar disorder of a suburban housewife and how it affects her family. Sounds weird for a musical? Well, it’s definitely better then Shrek the Musical or worse, Spiderman musical *shivers*.

Timeless…

I wish. But time does exist – in an absract sense – and it keeps moving, unstoppable, unfathomable and unbeatable. Yes, it’s still the semester break now, but with only two days left. After AS finished last week, we had about a week break – a week only to relax, chill and take our minds off of studying. Is that enough? Heck no! The worst thing is, all my other friends have more than a month’s worth of holiday. So, while I’m here making the most of this short-lived period of relaxation, they’re well, doing the same thing, only they have more time to do it. Sigh, so what did I do for the past week?

Right after the last paper was over, after the briefing and such, I immediately went off to KL to meet my parents Mid Valley. So there we spent three days (though we went to Malacca for a day) until we flew off to KK again. I watched two movies there: Star Trek and Night at the Museum 2. Star Trek was awesome. Loved Spock (“Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”). Night at the Museum was, sadly, a waste of time. There went 2 hours of my holiday.

I reached my home on Saturday and the first thing I did was go online. Online-ing in my own home, with unlimited internet access was orgasmically therapeutic. I missed Youtube. Aside from internet, I’m also catching up on movies and tv shows. I finished Pushing Daisies (almost), Heroes,  Desperate Housewives and Glee, and several movies. Downloaded a few more to last me in college until the Raya break. Safe movies though. Can you imagine watching Brokeback Mountain there? I’d have to cover the screen half the time.

What else…oh yeah, The Sims 3. Yes, I got Sims 3 in it’s bloody frikkin fantastic. If you just had a bad day, believe me, Sims is the best therapy. You can have the perfect life in the game: Sucessful career, picture-perfect family, cheating husband, plastic wife, troubled kids, kleptomanic maid, insufferable in-laws; it’s Stepford-perfect. Now, I still need to figure out how to have illegitimate children…

Still, there are still a lot of things I want to do here. Meet up with a few more friends, jalan-jalan in KK, family gathering, etc etc, and yet there’re two days left. By Sunday I will leave here, and won’t be back until September. And it’s the start of the A2 semester. One can imagine how cumbersome it will be. Sigh, life goes on and on, and on. Might as well make the most of my remaining time here…

Oh, how the good times flow,

Always fast, never slow,

Leaving behind a trail of memories,

Leading into an obscrusing mist…

This post took about 30 minutes to write. Hope it’s not a waste

Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours

Ok, back to posting useless stuffs. Now it’s a letter by Ludwig van Beethoven. A love letter actually. Now, in spite of my cynical, stoic, emotionless self, I still can appreciate a wonderfully written piece, that is heartfelt and beautifully verbose. Plus the six-words phrase “ever thine, ever mine, ever ours” is somehow so profound and poignant, and can evoke a strong desire to love (well, but I’m stronger than that. I still like that phrase though).

The First Letter

July 6, in the morning My angel, my all, my very self – Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) – Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon – what a useless waste of time – Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks – can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine – Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be – Love demands everything and that very justly – thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I – My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o’clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager – and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four – Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties – Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life – If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you – ah – there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all – Cheer up – remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be - Your faithful LUDWIG.

The Second Letter

Evening, Monday, July 6 You are suffering, my dearest creature – only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays – the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. – You are suffering – Ah, wherever I am, there you are also – I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you – pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither – which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it – Humility of man towards man – it pains me – and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He – whom we call the greatest – and yet – herein lies the divine in man – I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday – Much as you love me – I love you more – But do not ever conceal yourself from me – good night – As I am taking the baths I must go to bed – Oh God – so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

The Third Letter

Good morning, on July 7 Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits – Yes, unhappily it must be so – You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart – never – never – Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life – Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men – At my age I need a steady, quiet life – can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day – therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once – Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together – Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. ever thine ever mine ever ours Who knew that one of history’s best composer could write amazingly as well as compose musical pieces?

Muse-ings

Well, I’m inspired. I haven’t really talk abut myself in this blog for quite a while. So, let see what’s going on with my life now. We’ll do it in kind of a different way, with the help from inspirations themselves. Along the way, you might also learn a thing or two about Greek mythology.Let each of the Muse help me…

Muse #1: Clio, Muse of History

A little history lesson…I came here to on a scholarship to pursue medicine. I knew what I would have to face: studying, studying and more studying. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the past few months. Almost non-stop studying. I miss home, where life is so carefree, easy and with less responsibilities…If I wrote a memoir, I can fit studying into a whole chapter…

Muse #2: Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry

My life now is no Titanic…more like Lawrence of Arabia…Challenges everywhere and would take a lot of effort to handle. Exam a coming in a week…Life is tough. Why can’t my life be like The Godfather…kill someone, being in exiled, and then rise up and become the Don. Then again, life is not over, and it’s going to be an epic journey

Muse #3: Erato, Muse of Lyric Poetry

My lyrical thoughts and feelings are buried deep into the bottom of my crumbling mind/heart, and would only spring again once exam is over…in a month’s time *groans*…

Muse#4: Euterpe, Muse of Music

The only music I hear now is via my earphone when I’m doing Maths/Physics. I can’t listen to the birds’ songs anymore…it seems like everyone is becoming sorrowful…

Muse #5: Melpomene, Muse of Tragedy

Water would be out again for at least two days starting tomorrow or the day after (maybe today. NO!!) I lived in Sabah for 17 years and as far as I can remember I haven’t had any serious water problems for more than two days, even then we still had some water in the tank. I’ve been here for less than a year and I already experienced 2 water crisis (3rd one incoming). Hopefully that’s there will be…

Muse #6: Polyhymnia, Muse of Choral Poetry

Choral poetry, recited in ensemble…Yes, thankfully I have many friends here whom I can depend on. It’s actually quite remarkable I can be comfortable with new people in just a few months. Maybe I am growing up (eerk!). but I do miss my friends back at home, or rather all over the place. Hopefully we can meet again during the sem break…

Muse #7: Terpsichore, Muse of Dance

My rhythm now only involves waking up, go to class/library, go back home to rest, then study and finally sleep. Then repeat. 5,6,7,8…

Muse #8: Thalia, Muse of Comedy

My humour is dry. I can’t even think of anything funny to put in this post. All the thoughts of humour went to studying. I can’t crack a joke now. Knock, knock. Who’s there? No one, cause  I have no time to visit anyplace now except CR and library.

Muse #9: Urania, Muse of Astronomy

I’m seeing stars from too much studying…I need to see stars from entertainment mag…I miss staring at the moon…I just did a presentation on aliens, and uh…what was I talking about again? Sorry, my head just got lost in space…

In conclusion, I’m stressed out. I need a break from studying; enough with the logical thoughts, I need some creative ones too. But then again, exam’s in a week. Sacrifice, sacrifice…sigh. Well, wish me luck for exam and regards for the other thing too, before the exam